Dating Shouldn’t Be Stressful

Late night meetings with mysterious strangers. Conversations in dimly-lit restaurants. Heart-break, passion, anticipation, and exhaustion. Sound like the plot of Hollywood’s latest feature film? Guess again. It’s a description of the dating world in the 21st century.
      
Dating, on the whole, has become more complicated than it has ever been. Sometimes it seems so complicated that many people describe it more as an adventure than a process. Many experts, however, warn that the complexity of dating in today’s society is no reason to feel overwhelmed or hopeless. “I see it all the time,� says Annie Ory, certified relationship and dating coach. “People tell me, ‘Annie I have no hope for finding the right partner,’ and it’s simply not true. There is hope – it just takes a little bit of assistance at times.�      

Ory is also the president of Mapping Love (http://MappingLove.com), a company that provides coaching in dating and relationships. Ory personally works with couples, individuals, singles, and married couples – both in person and over-the-phone. “There’s no doubt about it. Dating, and relationships for that matter, can be very confusing,� she states. “Sometimes it just takes a person who is ‘on the outside’ to objectively monitor what’s going on.�

Dating coaches can be somewhat of an unknown concept to many people. Most coaches describe themselves as relationship experts. They focus on what is and isn’t working and they put together goals for each respective individual. Although each coach varies in their specialty, experienced coaches such as Ory usually specialize in several areas.

Coaches also vary in the amount of training they receive – some are highly trained, certified professionals while others possess little-to-no training whatsoever. It is usually the training and certifications that consumers are warned to investigate before deciding on a dating coach.

Ory also states that advice should be closely monitored in the beginning stages of working with a coach. If it’s not objective, it probably isn’t advice – or a coach – that should be taken seriously. “People have a tendency to want to receive advice that agrees with what they want to hear. That type of advice, however, usually isn’t constructive,� warns Ory. “A qualified coach will challenge you and force you to take a hard look at the way you’re approaching relationships.�

Dating coaches help clients to set up plans for their current dating/relationship status. It can be as simple as deciding upon realistic goals for meeting a new partner, or it can be as complicated as deciding on the qualities that a future partner needs to possess. Whatever the path, Ory has one ultimate goal for all her clients. “I take the fear and uncertainty out of finding a meaningful relationship. I want to make it fun again.�