A Father’s Parenting Legacy

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Cedric Dukes


Children learn more from what you are than what you teach - W.E.B. Du Bois.

For any number of reasons, a child mimics his or her role model. It is essential that parents remain active in a child’s life.  Parents must continue to instill character and discipline. Character opens the door while discipline keeps them there. Attentive and caring parents make a positive impact on a child. Mothers have done an impressive job in persevering, nurturing and developing a child’s foundation while in some cases sacrificing.

Equally the father, whether in or out the home, must continue to lay a solid foundation. Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6). To leave a legacy to a child, a father has to display solid character, discipline and proper attitude toward a child in every situation. A father’s action and character can impact the development process of a child.  A father’s softer side is sometimes required to breakthrough a child’s heart to establish the legacy.

A father’s compassion – Compassion is a blend of mercy and grace encompassed by love. The LORD is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy. The LORD is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works (Psalm 145:8-9). Fathers can display the same as we receive daily compassion from Him. Your compassion gives a child the affection, attention and affirmation.

Every child needs affection from their father helping them to understand their worth. Affection leads to your undivided attention requiring your time and investment.  And your affirmation brings total peace to a child knowing they are loved by you in all times and your compassion is not based on a single incident. 

A father’s counsel – A child does experience unending peer pressure to fit in. Today’s peer pressure is greater than the previous generation with the advancement of technology. Counsel is needed now than later as they are developing their decision making and thinking process. A study from Cornell University states that a father spends no more than 38 seconds a day talking to their children. A child needs his father, the life coach, to guide them to their life’s purpose to impact the world and that making wise decisions can neutralize negative peer pressure.

A father’s forgiveness – Another area of creating a legacy is through the father’s forgiveness. Unforgiveness of a father, or any parent, carries lifetime consequences in a child to the next generation. Forgiveness is coupled with compassion. Be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ has forgiven you (Ephesians 4:32).

Compassion opens the heart of a child while counseling impacts it but forgiveness allows you to remain in the heart of a child forever. Forgiveness should not be taken lightly because it not only resonates with the human heart but impacts the mind. It is hard for a child to love when bitterness and resentment are present.  All of that can be dismissed with the phrase, “Please forgive me for offending you”. It may be hard for us men to state, but it’s necessary for a child to hear.

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men - Fredrick Doulglass.

The Heavenly Father has trusted us with great responsibility of developing amazing children. He has created them in His image so they can impact our community and world.  Fatherhood continues to be a work in progress and every day will be a new challenge and with the help of the Heavenly Father, we can mold and establish the legacy of our children.

Make it a great day.



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