Loving The African Male

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In my native country of Nigeria, women are seen and not heard. American women do not understand why an African male tends to be dismissive of a woman’s opinion.

Loving the African Male: What Every Woman MUST Know

Hey ladies, still haven’t found Mr. Right?  Maybe Pete “Oil King� Agbo has the answer for you in his new book, Loving the African Male: What Every Woman MUST Know. 

No doubt most of us have been curious about what it would be like to have a hot, chiseled hunk of Mandingo chocolate in our lives.  Well sisters, Mr. Agbo has uncovered the secrets to landing and keeping that Black stallion you dream about in his new book, Loving the African Male: What Every Woman MUST Know.  Cliché as it may sound ladies, be careful what you ask for because if you think you and your new boo are about to ride off into the sunset to live happily ever after just like a fantasy novel, think again.

According to Mr. Agbo, you've got a lot to learn about Loving the African Male, and believe me – the way Agbo tells it, it’s no American dream.


Nigerian born Pete “Oil King� Agbo, who came to the U.S. in 1982, feels that African American women need to be educated on how to accommodate African men. 

In Agbo’s book, Loving the African Male: What Every Woman MUST Know, he depicts African men as coming from a culture where women had better be seen and not heard, are good for nothing but to cook food, clean house, make babies and be full-time servant – a duty that frequently includes being a warm host for the African man to satisfy his sexual appetite any time he pleases with absolutely no knowledge or concern for the woman’s need for mutual satisfaction.

"African men are quite unused to American women’s outspokenness. In my native country of Nigeria, women were seen and not heard. American women do not understand why an African male tends to be dismissive of a woman’s opinion.  Many American women come from a comfortable world that they take for granted. This book helps broaden their perspectives on how cultural differences translate to behavior they may not understand,� Agbo explains. 

Subsequently, one might ask why any woman in her right mind would have the desire to relinquish what Agbo calls a ‘comfortable world’ to be in a relationship with such a barbaric person as he describes.


Agbo’s Loving the African Male: What Every Woman MUST Know has the potential to quench a lot of curiosity regarding many African customs.  From language barriers to dining etiquette, Agbo addresses the issues from real-life situations he has witnessed and/or experienced through dating African American women here in the United States.  For example, once you get deeply involved with your African man, and you possibly decide to move in together, try asking your licorice love to take out the trash one day and you may, in his language, be asking for a painful lump on the head.  In his book, Mr. Agbo teaches how to alleviate such possible misunderstandings during the dating process and throughout the African man/African American woman relationship.

According to Mr. Agbo, “The African male is not at all prepared for dating a woman who knows her mind and is not afraid to speak it.�  Mr. Agbo says the African male doesn’t believe in wining and dining women or giving romantic gifts.  So ladies, you can forget about those Valentine’s day Godivas or the long stemmed roses. And the dinner?  You can forget that too, because on the rare occasion the two of you may go out to a restaurant to eat, you'd better be ready to pay the check because your boo doesn’t believe in "wasting" money on taking you out to nice places when he could use that money to buy himself a new pair of shoes and send the rest home to support his entire village.

And if somehow you do decide you’d like to become friends with this guy and see if a spark develops later on, you’d better be ready to put out on the first date or you’ll probably be seeing the last of him.  You see, according to Agbo, if an African man comes to your house and you don’t put out, more than likely, he won’t waste his time coming back to see you again -- especially if it means shelling out gas money.

Full of facts and hopefully lots of fiction about what really goes on in some African communities, Loving the African Male: What Every Woman MUST Know is a must read to believe.  See what Mr. Agbo has to say about hugging and kissing in African culture.  What is your African love possibly hiding that can seriously concern you and how do you find out if he's hiding something and if so, what?  What happens when your African man’s mother comes to visit (Whoo girls! this one's priceless.)?   What can you expect from him between the sheets?  What is your “place� when his friends come over?  How will he discipline your children – even if they’re not his?

“American women do not have a 'context' (?) for understanding the upbringing of the African male and how it impacts the relationship,� says Agbo.

After two marriages and several failed relationships, Agbo says he has finally found true love with an African American woman. “I think that two people from different cultures have much to learn from each other,� he says. “This book will help couples discover the richness each of them brings to the relationship.�

What seems to have been omitted is what could the “African male� or any man possibly bring to the releationship that's so hot it would drive a woman to give up her liberty and self respect.

Okay, let’s talk about the real deal now -- what I know for fact -- which, thank God, is quite contrary to what's in Mr. Agbo's book:

Ugandan born Milton Allimadi, Publisher of The Black Star and author of The Hearts of Darkness: How White Writers Created the Racist Image of Africa, is my good friend, mentor, and the best boss I've ever had in my entire life (and no, I'm not sucking up for a raise, thank you).  Milton is one of the most charming and gracious men I’ve ever known in my entire life -- a true gentleman from whom many men from all walks of life can learn a lot.  Milton and I work very closely together and while we’re not lovers, we do work closely enough that if he had the types of characteristics listed above, I would have noticed and our working relationship and friendship would not have lasted one day.  Quite contrary to Mr. Agbo's description of African men, Milton is THE kindest, most caring and sensitive man I have ever known – not just with women, but with everyone.  Milton has an international reputation by both men and women as a gentleman, a scholar, and a wonderful person.  When I come to the office, the first thing Milton and I do is give each other a big warm hug and a kiss.  He embraces me, my daughter, even the lady in the office down the hall like close family.  Milton is a king of men.  He walks the walk, he talks the talk and he flosses GQ style.  Yes, we have our little spats, but we work them out like two professionals and we keep it moving and making it happen for The Black Star News.  Milton has so much appreciation for women.  So much that he even makes it his business to profile exceptional African American women each week in The Black Star.  Make no mistake, though.  Just because Milton is nice, doesn't mean he's a pushover.  Allimadi is a strong leader who is not to be reckoned with.  Milton is a hero in our fight for human rights.  He has travelled nationally and abroad fighting cases of human injustice and atrocities.  Ugandan born Milton Allimadi is a warm and wonderful man who represents Africans and African Americans with regal prowess.

Aziz Gueye Adetimirin, CEO of The Network Journal is another man of great distinction, also an African male.  Aziz honors scores of women in business at The Network Journal's annual gala.  His Editor-In-Chief is a woman – Ms. Rosalind McLymont.  I’ve known Aziz for a couple of years and his charisma and charm is kingly, as is that of my friend, Sidique Wai, President and CEO of the United African Congress, who I've known for over a decade. 

I have attended African celebrations where dozens of African people come together and never have I witnessed any of these types of behaviors that I’ve seen in this book, Loving the African Male: What Every Woman MUST Know.  Moreover, I personally, have never noticed a bad odor from an African person’s body.

Still, I have to grant that I doubt Mr. Agbo is making this stuff up and I definitely recommend Loving the African Male: What Every Woman MUST Know, even if you’re not necessarily seeking to date an African man, because the book is very enlightening about customs among certain African communities and it can help people understand a lot about some African customs, enabling us to try to be as accommodating as comfortably possible for the sake of Friendship (Oops!  Dare I say the "F" word?).

The world is a plethora of diversity and there is beauty in all people.  We must try to embrace each other and learn to live together.  We all have something wonderful to offer in a barrage of cultures and customs.

Loving the African Male: What Every Woman MUST Know.  The book is definitely going to tick a lot of people off -- African American women and African men, alike.  Oh yes!  I'm letting you know right now -- Agbo says some things in that book about his countrymen you will not believe. The way I see it, he might not be talking what we want to hear, but you've got to give it up for Pete the “Oil King� -- at least he's saying SOMETHING.  Communication is a great way to start.

Pete “Oil King� Agbo was born and raised in Nigeria and came to the U.S. in 1982. Now CEO of Coal City Entertainment, Pete joined the United States Navy in 1986 and served in the first Persian Gulf War. After his Honorable Discharge, he worked full time while attending California State University in Long Beach.  He graduated with a degree in film and television production. Pete now lives with his fiancée and adorable young son in Los Angeles, California.

To get your copy of Pete "Oil King" Agbo's Loving the African Male: What Every Woman MUST Know, logon to www.lovingtheafricanmale.com .

We would like to know your opinion after reading Pete "Oil King" Agbo's book, Loving the African Male: What Every Woman MUST Know.  Please send your questions and comments to brenda@blackstarnews.com .

Loving the African Male: What Every Woman MUST Know by Pete “Oil King� Agbo;
ISBN: 0-9788068-0-8; $19.95; soft cover; 5½ x 8½; 200 pages; COAL CITY ENTERTAINMENT PUBLISHING

Brenda Jeanne Wyche, Advocate for Solutions and Results is Managing Editor for The Black Star News and Harlem Business News, CEO of Winning Strategies & Associates and VP of PR for The Professionals.  If you have a solution, contact Brenda@blackstarnews.com .  Maybe we’ll talk.

To subscribe to or advertise in New York’s leading Pan African weekly investigative newspaper, please call (212) 481-7745 or send a note to Milton@blackstarnews.com
“Speaking Truth To Empower.�

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