George Bush, Man Of Genius

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In his recent decision to “escalate the war,� President George Bush arrogantly chose to ignore both the recommendations of the bi-partisan Iraq Study Group, which had suggested diplomatic over military options, and the sentiment of the nation, as reflected in the Election Day results, which had essentially been a resounding referendum on his handling of the occupation.

In my mind, this stupefying blunder makes him a prime candidate for an award as a bona fide genius, though what I have in mind is not exactly a Nobel Peace Prize. Over the years, in a series of Real Men of Genius commercials, Bud Light beer has recognized the incomparable contributions of dozens of such previously unsung heroes as Mr. Underwear Inspector #12, Mr. Really Bad Toupee Wearer, and Mr. King of the Karaoke Mic.

So, today, I humbly nominate the President with this heartfelt testimonial which follows, written in the same format used for all the spots fit into the familiar jingle. With apologies to the good people at Anheuser Busch.
Voiceover: Bud Light presents: Real Men of Genius Background Singer: Real Men of Genius!
Voiceover: Today we salute you, Mr. “We need to deploy 20,000 more troops to Iraq� guy.
Background Singer: Mr. “We need to deploy 20,000 more troops to Iraq� guy! Voiceover: You’ve brought the Iraqis the real American Dream: car bombs, beheadings, and a decimated infrastructure that has left them without any hope for the future.

Background Singer: Pinch me I’m dreaming!
Voiceover: Taking war profiteering to a new level, and armed with a carte blanche from Congress, you’ve frittered away over $300 billion of taxpayer dollars while enriching the Military-Industrial Complex.
Background Singer: Feeding frenzy!

Voiceover: If there’s a no-bid contract, you’ll award it to a crony. If there’s sectarian violence, you’ll blame Al-Qaeda. But as long as there’s democracy over there, well, then everything’s going to be okay.
Background Singer: Thank God for democracy!

Voiceover: So crack open a nice, cold Bud Light, Chimpleton-in-Chief, because despite a few thousand body bags already on your conscience, you have no problem asking for more patience and patriotism in the face of further sacrifice.
Background Singer:  Mr.  “We need to deploy 20,000 more troops to Iraq� guy!
Disclaimer: Bud Light Beer, Anheuser Busch, Fort Collins, Colorado

Black Star columnist Kam Williams is an attorney and a member of the bar in NJ, NY, CT, PA, MA & US Supreme Court bars.

If you are unfamiliar with the Real Men of Genius series, visit: and listen to a few entries and then re-read the above transcript.

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