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(Photo of Pearl Jr.)
Photo Credit: P.A. Edmead

Oh, Bruther!  Not another love-starved chick beggin!  Pleeeze!  That’s what I said when I first saw Pearl Jr.’s promo for her new book, Black Women Need Love, Too.  “Oh gosh!  It has the stench of desperation written all over it.�  (love those puns)

I don’t see what the big deal is!  When I was “growing up�, the men did the begging.  I just can’t get used to these women being so desperate for love that they’re whining and wailing all over the airways, from the mountains to the valleys, to the oceans to the shores.  Sure – I have my “pink� moments, but for the most part, Please!  When I want “love�, I just take it!  What’s the problem?  Want to be loved?  Be lovable!  Want sex?  Be sexual!  It’s a no-brainer the way I see it.

So I contacted Pearl Jr. and confronted her about it. “Hey, Pearl!  When women are constantly whining and publicizing their desperation for love from a man, the only purpose it serves is to swell the Bruthas’ heads and cause them to act like these “dawgs� you talk about.  Y’all puttin’ waaaay too much thought and energy into this whole ‘man catchin’ thing, gurl.  If Sistas would stop beggin, they might get ‘some!’�, I wrote.

Pearl Jr. didn’t get defensive.  She was very patient as she articulated the reason she wrote Black Women Need Love, Too. 

It all started at a time in Pearl Jr.’s life when she was angry and wrote, How to Tame a Dawg: The Pussy Kat Ain’t Doin’ It. Interestingly, there’s a chapter in that book called, “If You Don’t Want a Dawg, Then Don’t Raise One.�  That particular chapter addresses the double standard between the way African American females are raised as opposed to African American males.  Hmmmm!  Anyway, after she calmed down and put things into “proper perspective�, as she puts it, Pearl Jr.  realized that she didn’t actually want to “tame a dog�, she just needed to tell men that she needed to be loved, honored and cherished as all Black women need to be.  As a result, she wrote, Black Women Need Love, Too (Exposing the Conspiracy to Keep Black Women Without Love). 

One of the many important issues Pearl Jr. covers in Black Women Need Love, Too, is marriage in the African American community.  Pearl Jr. went on to explain that the system deliberately keeps it a secret from us that married people live longer, have less occurrences of diseases, own more property, have more money in the bank and there are many more advantages to being married.  Not to mention the fact that marriage is key to the healthy development of our children.  Pearl Jr. made a lot of good points.  We e-mailed back and forth for about an hour until she got me pondering a few things about myself.  Hmmmm.

There are so many layers to this now happily married mother of two.  She grew up in San Fernando Valley.  She got hooked on African American studies in college and debuted her career as an author with the book, The Climate (A Perspective Unvisited) – a chronicle about race development.  Right now, Pearl Jr. is streaming her own online TV show.  Just watching her is a charm.  Her bubbly, happy spirit is quite contagious and she has some very stimulating talks with some huge celebrities.  Besides that, Pearl Jr. is constantly making appearances on various radio stations, and she’s an amazing promoter.  Her production company, Elbow Grease Productions, was the ONLY Black-owned media credentialed to cover the Michael Jackson trial.

Pearl Jr. is actually doing a great service to the ladies who find themselves lost in the Sea of Desperate Hotties.  She puts it right out there on a silver platter for you.  All you have to do is go get it.

So while I’m “in denial�, having the time of my life in my rose-colored glasses (which is all I’ll be wearing on my date tonight), there is definitely a huge market for Pearl Jr.’s enlightening and inspiring books -- especially, Black Women Need Love, Too.  Trust me when I say Pearl Jr. is hot. 

But don’t take my word for it.  Check Pearl Jr. out in her upcoming appearance on The Tyra Banks Show.  Even Tyra wants to know what's up.  And you can always go on her site and pick up a copy at

You go, Pearl!

To learn more about Pearl Jr, logon to

Brenda Jeanne Wyche, Advocate for Solutions and Results ©2006 is Managing Editor for The Black Star News and Harlem Business News and CEO of Winning Strategies & Associates, a public relations company in New York City.  If you have a solution, contact [email protected] .  Maybe we’ll talk.

To subscribe to or advertise in New York’s leading Pan African weekly investigative newspaper, please call (212) 481-7745 or send a note to
[email protected]

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