He Madoff: On Bail

Madoff stole $50 billion and he can eat foi gras and drink Moet. Madoff deserves baloney sandwiches with milk. And lots of soap for the showers.

[The Financial Meltdown]

Bernard Madoff has friends in high places.

Not only that, but it appears that a Judge has decided that stealing a bicycle is a far more serious offense than a $50 billion fraud. U.S. prosecutors requested that Madoff’s bail be revoked after it was discovered that he was distributing Chanukah presents valued in excess of $1 million to his friends and family.

Obviously, we at The Black Star News do not consider $1 million to be chump change; although to Bernie, and probably to the Judge in this case, $1 million is sufficient to buy an expensive rattle.

U.S Attorney Lev Dassin was offended by the chutzpah of Bernie; Madoff’s ability to remain free on bail in his $7 million apartment with household servants to take care of his every need. Dassin, who was probably outraged that Madoff would steal from charities, wanted Madoff’s bail revoked.

It is at this point that I must recount the tale of my friend’s son. This incident happened some years ago. My friend’s son was drunk. He was tired. It was winter. He found an unlocked car with the keys in the ignition.

Being tired, cold and inebriated, he started the car and turned on the heat. He then fell asleep; dead drunk. The owner returned and called the police without bothering to awaken my friend’s son. The police arrested the hapless lad.

He was taken to criminal court. He explained to the Judge that he had been drunk, tired and cold–and that the keys had been left in the car. He stated that he didn’t try to steal the car; he merely wanted a warm place to sleep. He even told the Judge that he was too drunk to drive. The Judge disagreed and ordered his bail set at $500.
My friend—the boy’s mother—refused to post bail. She stated that she was tired of her son being drunk and falling asleep.

The son fell asleep in a car. He did not break into the car. The door was open. He could not meet bail and spent two months in jail when he was ordered released.
Madoff stole $50 billion and he can eat foi gras and drink Moet. Madoff deserves baloney sandwiches with milk.

And lots of soap for the showers.

 

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