If You Can’t Submit, Then Don’t Commit

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[Why I Will Not Cook]

The reason why most women cannot submit in a relationship and respect a man as the final decision-maker in their relationship is because there is a lack of trust and confidence that the man that they have chosen has their best interest at heart.

Imagine if two people got in the driver’s seat of a car, both with the intention to drive at the same time. Not only is this illegal, it also presents a grave danger to the lives of the individuals involved. 

Worst yet, the two people in question embark on this endeavor with no dialogue of where they are going, what route they intend to use to get there, and at what pace.
Would you get in the back seat of this car? Often times, children, through no fault of their own, are the ones that get caught in the back seat. The two people in the driver’s seat, so absorbed in ego, often forget to turn around and see the fear and confusion on their children’s faces.

Pure and simple; the man is the head of the house, and a woman ought to submit to the man. This is absolute. You do not have to like it, but it is the way that it is; it is the way that it must be. The man’s place is in the driver’s seat.

So there, men drive—safely, carefully, with direction and purpose. Men drive because the lives of you, your wife and your children depend on you. Every once in a while, your wife can help you drive; but when it is all said and done, all the final decisions on this trip are your responsibility.

One thing that is awry with today’s society is that there is so much grey area. No one wants to make a stand on anything. Please. I am all about the grey areas; however, some things must be black and white, they just are.

The same rings true when it comes to roles in a relationship.  

It is really foggy as to who belongs in the driver’s seat. Sometimes both the woman and the man want to be in charge; sometimes the man forgets that he should be in the driver’s seat; other times he wants to be a passenger; and the worst of all worst case scenarios, is the man that beats his chest because he wants to be in the drivers seat, and yet he has no driver’s license and no idea how to drive. God help the woman that ends up in this accident.

For all the independent women out there that have “their own jobs,” “their own cars,” “their own homes,” “their own money,” and “their education,”; I am right there with you. You are a soldier; a survivor; and, a dime piece. While all these accolades are impressive, they have no place in your relationship.   A man is not stupid or blind he sees what you are working with, no need to bang it over his head.

Hopefully, as women we have more depth and character to us that our accomplishments. Thus even without the trophies and accolades, a woman should still stand as a virtuous woman and be humble and modest about her achievements, especially when it comes to the man in your life.

In some cases, instead of our achievements serving to enhance the quality of our relationships, they serve as impediments, barriers, false pedestal, making it difficult for YOU to submit HIM.

Think about it. Why would you not want to submit to the man that you have vowed to love and cherish to be the head of you and your household?

The answer is simple, a lot of times, it is because we women pick and marry, the wrong “MAN”agement, ill-fitted “MAN”agement, under qualified “MAN”agement. I can go on and on. We say “I do” to men that we have no intentions of entrusting with making important decisions in our lives.

If you are a woman that has already hired bad “MAN”agement, there is still hope for you.  It is called prayer; a lot of it. For the women who are in the process of hiring permanent “MAN”agement, you still need prayer but take the leap with eyes wide open. Every man is Mr. Right, but it does not mean that he is Mr. Right for you.

When a woman meets a man, like men, we too are attracted to the outward physical appearance. Bright smile; nice pecks; six pack--in my case, I love love, love a pot belly, a pot belly and a goatee, just wrap it up— confident swagger, deep dimples, well-manicured beard, clean shaven head, big strong hands, full lips, oversized thighs…hmmm, what was I talking about again, I lost my train of thought.

Ah yes; you cannot stop at the physical, yes he makes you laugh and he rubs your feet and tucks you into bed and he finishes your sentences and gives you butterflies, but all these things are trivial in the grand scheme of things. 

You should really search your soul and ask yourself if this is a man that you want to submit to. Can you take his word as final; even when you feel that his decision is questionable? 

Are you willing to follow him? Is this someone that you are willing to give up your seat for and entrust with your most valued possession—your life and your future? Can you submit and serve?

(In part two; Chichi discusses “the power of submission.”)

Keeping Your Relationship “On The Front Burner” Always, In The KiTchen with Chichi Nwoko

Ladies, men, hit me up at
chichinwoko@gmail.com with comments or pleasurable or woeful tales


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