Love For Sale

-A +A

Love, although, sometimes complicated, really is easy.  But the demands and restrictions that we place on love make it less than pleasurable at times. Women grow up dreaming about love; looking for that knight in shining armor. Often this fosters an unrealistic view of what love really is. 

Love isn’t about the movie and the happy ending. Love is about not being selfish, but being patient and gentle. I mean the type of love that has longevity. How does one achieve this? I believe in some sense, sisters have minimized the power of love and what it truly means to embrace it. Love shouldn’t be contingent on size, girth or width. It certainly doesn’t depend on how many zero’s are at the end of his salary, or how fat his bank account is, either. Love has gotten mixed up in all this “stuff.� I’ll tell you that I, myself, have muddied the waters of love, a time or two, with stipulations.

Oh sure, sisters do all the things physically to prepare for love. The hair is flawless and the clothes are the latest and greatest in fashion, but how much work has gone into the internal gifts that we are to offer our brothers? You attract what you are and a lot of Black women have become bitter, resentful and unpleasant. I know that brother didn’t do right by some of you, but it’s time to let that go and truly move on. How will love find you sisters? Will it recognize you? More importantly, how will anyone have the wherewithal to penetrate the invisible wall you have built? We’ve all been hurt and suffered great losses, but in order for love to grow and flourish it is imperative for you to fertilize the ground on which it can grow upon.

Sisters, we say men are unworthy of us. We say that men don’t know how to treat us, when in fact a lot of the issues could be resolved if we took our rightful places as Queens and acted accordingly. Love cannot and will not show up until the time work and energy have been put into making ourselves as beautiful on the inside, as we do on the outside. 

We’ve got to figure out what we want. Is it love if he drives a Benz? Or how about if he can whisk you off to those exotic places? It seems that we tolerate more from the brother who is financially stable, the white collar worker, if you will, than we do the blue collar worker, who may dig a ditch for a living, but has a good heart.

I read the statistics. I listen to the talk shows. There is no shortage of good Black men out here. Don’t believe the hype. However, there is a shortage of sisters who know how to recognize that diamond in the rough. Everything that glitters isn't gold. There shouldn’t be a price tag on love.

With your laundry list of requirements for that perspective man, can you offer those same things? Or, with the right “bling� does that list become non-existent? Is your love for sale?

Note to self:  Don’t close yourself off to love, it may show up looking the opposite of what you expected. ©2006

LaVerne N. Curtis. Ms. Curtis is a Senior Editor and Freelance Columnist, with nationally published works to include “Love…According to L,� a monthly AOL Black Voices column; and “L’s Motivational Minute,� a monthly motivational women’s column for Soul Sistas She has also interviewed celebrity personalities and written for Upscale You can e-mail her at: with your comments.

To subscribe to or advertise in New York’s leading Pan African weekly investigative newspaper, please call (212) 481-7745 or send a note to

Also Check Out...

$2 million gift to its Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCU) founding partners
Morehouse College: AltFinance
Filed by Fair Fight Action, the suit challenged state voting processes it said disenfranchised voters in recent elections.
Georgia Voting Rights Lawsuit
 A suburban Minneapolis city has agreed to pay $3.2 million to the family of Daunte Wright
Daunte Wright: $3.2M Settlement
Caribbean Cricket: New 60-Ball Tournament
Caribbean Cricket: New 60-Ball
Geor­gia poll work­ers, Wandrea “Shaye” Moss and Ruby Free­man.
The People Who Stood Up To Trump
LISC WNY and General Motors are working together to provide $15,000 and $10,000 grants to...under-capitalized Black businesses
NY: $15,000, $10,000 Grants