Unhappy Single; Likely Unhappy Married

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[The Relationship Guru]

Everyone must first learn to be happy without a mate. 

If you are unhappily single, it will be important to change that so you can get the most out of your single days. Being single should be one of the best times of your life.  It is your time to discover what you want out of life—what your goals are, and what you need from a mate.

I know you might be thinking that you don’t want to enjoy being single; you want to get married. Well, if that is your end goal, you need to know that how you live as a single person determines the type of partners you attract into your life. 

Having a full, productive single life is key to achieving a fulfilling committed relationship. If you are unhappy single, you will likely be unhappy married, except you can then blame your spouse instead of yourself for your unhappiness. Well, when you are living the life you want as a single person, you will attract the mate who is right for you.

Dating someone is supposed to be fun and add to your life. It shouldn’t become your whole life. Your first goal should be to improve your own life by becoming an independent, productive person with goals, dreams and fulfilling activities. Women can afford to think more like men in this area. Instead of worrying about what he wants or what makes him happy, figure out what is going to make you happy. 

What are you really passionate about, and what do you enjoy doing?  Do you have a rich social life with great friends and loving family members?

It’s important to learn to be happy while you’re single. Single people are beginning to realize that they actually have a lot of time to create a meaningful life for themselves, and they are deciding to pursue their dreams. Being single is not a problem, but an opportunity to reinvest in your life and your spiritual growth. Maximize your career, interests, hobbies and relationships while you’re single, and make that time the best days of your life.

I don’t believe that I have to be married and have a husband to be complete and happy. I know that if my life isn’t already fulfilled when I meet a man, than neither he nor marriage can make me happy or fulfilled. Nothing outside of you can produce long-lasting satisfaction and happiness—no mate, money, job, house or car can produce true fulfillment in life.  

Many people jump in and out of relationships because they don’t want to be alone. There is a major difference between being “lonely” and “aloneness.” Know that you may be alone, but you don’t have to be lonely in life. Alone is defined as separate, apart, unique or unequaled. In contrast, being lonely is defined as lacking friendly companionship. 

If you have a full life of family, friends and dates, you don’t have to lack companionship in your life and, therefore, you don’t have to be lonely.

Being single and alone can be a wonderful experience. It’s the perfect time for adventure, fun, romance, self-discovery and renewal. Before you get into a relationship, learn to be happy alone. Work on your personal happiness and enjoying the wonderful friends and family in your life.

J.J. Smith is a Dating and Relationship Expert, Author, Radio Host, and Corporate Executive.  J.J.  is the author of  Why I Love Men: The Joys of Dating which can be purchased at http://www.jjsmithonline.com .   J.J. has recently appeared on NBC, FOX, NewsChannel8, Glamour Magazine, Jamie Foxx Show, Montel Williams Show, Michael Baisden Show and many others.  She is also the host of “Real Talk with JJ and The Fellas” which offers an intelligent, provocative discussion on dating, love, sex and relationships and airs on www.wsRadio.com.  J.J. may be contacted by email at info@jjsmithonline.com.

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