Why, you ask? Because Bush!

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Even the most casual political observer must ask the following questions. How can a 2016 presidential candidate with a fundraising/Super-PAC war chest known to be in the neighborhood of $125 million be sinking in the national political polls like the Titanic? Why is it that a man who hails from a politically dynastic family seem to be prone to so many unforced errors? Why is someone who has had aspirations to run for the highest office in our country for so many years totally unprepared to answer the one question he had to know was coming? The answers are simple, my friends. Because Bush! That’s why.
 
When Jeb Bush’s mother – former First Lady Barbara Bush – stated emphatically last year that the world didn’t need another Bush running for president, perhaps we all should have listened. 
 
DJ, please cue up Issac Hayes’s Academy Award-winning theme from the 1970 movie, “Shaft”.
 
No one is going to confuse John Ellis Bush with John J. Shaft – one of the coolest fictional private investigators in motion picture history. Shaft is a man’s man. Bush is, well, baked beans.
 
On paper, the former Governor of Florida has everything. He’s wealthy, successful, and influential. He’s happily married, a proud father, and bilingual. Politically, he should be the Republican front-runner. He should be leading the pack – except that he’s floundering. Donald J. Trump has left Bush in the dust. Right now, Jeb Bush is a man who needs a clue.
 
Roll that beautiful bean footage!
 
Why insist in press conferences and on debate stages that while you love your brother and your father, you’re your own man? If that were true, Jeb wouldn’t have hired virtually every living policy advisor to President George W. Bush.
 
Why continue to blame President Obama for the formation of ISIS when every rational American is well aware that the apprehension and execution of Saddam Hussein during George W. Bush’s administration created the vacuum which ultimately led to the creation of ISIS years later? Jeb knows what he’s claiming isn’t true. While he’s entitled to his own opinions, he’s not entitled to his own revisionist history.
 
Why can’t Jeb handle any question about Iraq without looking like a deer in headlights? Whenever you ask the man whether the United States should have invaded Iraq after the American people were lied to, his face stiffens and his eyes glaze over. There is immediate visual evidence that Jeb is unprepared to speak on that topic. Jeb shares that rather unfortunate character trait with his younger brother. Long story short: Saddam Hussein never had chemical weapons. Saddam Hussein never had nuclear weapons. The war did not end in weeks as we were promised. American soldiers were not welcomed as liberators by the Iraqi people. Hussein was not affiliated with either Osama bin Laden or Al Qaeda. Bad intel is one thing. Outright lies repeatedly told to justify an unjustifiable war is something else entirely. Jeb cannot be truthful on any off those points because in doing so, he would be throwing his younger brother under a bus.
 
“Who is the man 
Who won’t risk his neck for his brother man?
Bush! Can you dig it?”
 
Why is Jeb so opposed to the Iran nuclear deal? His support of Israel doesn’t tell the whole story. Jeb will tell anyone who will listen that he feels the deal is bad for America, but have you noticed that he cannot tell anyone why? Like most other burning political issues, Bush prefers to remain abstract – never concrete. He won’t give details. He won’t offer any solutions. He’s like Colonel Sanders’s secret recipe of 11 herbs and spices. No one knows what’s Jeb’s plan is except for Jeb. And he’s not talking. Is he politically cautious – or politically cowardly? Baked beans.
 
“Who’s the Republican man 
with everything except a plan?
Bush! That’s right.
 
Why does Jeb Bush avoid Donald Trump like the bubonic plague? He refuses to engage the Donald – even when Trump tweeted the following in early July: “Jeb Bush has to like the Mexican illegals because of his wife.” Jeb’s wife, Columbia, is Mexican. It took Jeb nearly a week to respond – and even when he did, his reply to Trump was as weak as wet tissue paper.
 
“Who’s the cat 
Who will cope out when there’s danger all about?
Bush! Right on.”
 
On immigration reform, why was Jeb was in favor of a legal path to citizenship for the 11,000,000 undocumented immigrants currently in America… before he was against it… after he was for it… then against it… then over it… then for it. Last week at the first GOP debate in Cleveland, Jeb is against it. Again. 
 
“They say this Bush 
Is a bad political…
Shut your mouth!
 
I’m just talking about Jeb.”
 
This gentleman wants to bring back the infamous CIA torture techniques used on detainees at Gitmo throughout his younger brother’s administration. He wants a massive escalation of American boots on the ground in Iraq. He’s openly discussing the removal of Section 1 the 14th Amendment – meaning that he doesn’t believe that all persons born or naturalized in the United States should automatically be US citizens. None of these positions are tenable. 
 
Why can’t Jeb win the White House? I already told you. Because Bush!
 

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