Bullets For My Brother: My Negro Foolproof Get-Rich Quick Scheme

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[Outside The Box]

Black life is expendable and I’m confident the police will cooperate with my scheme.

I have this one sibling who is a couple of years older than I and whom I have never liked, gotten along or related with healthily. 

My sibling has custody of the two kids by different paramours, is marginally employed and always leaning on friends and relatives,  including me, for financial and personal assistance without recompense or even a proper thank you. 

We are constantly and frequently in each other’s lives even if only superficially.  This has been a pattern since the eldest child was about one-and-one-half years old, who is now 11.

The second child is six and neither non-custodial parent makes any investment or takes any responsibility financially, developmentally, or emotionally in the children.  They are circumstantially absent and have permanently abandoned their offspring.  

On top of these social and personal failures of my elder sibling I wind up more often than not being compromised in my own life with the on-again off-again raising of these young Black children while various excuses,  some legitimate, are pleaded for my "watching of the children" sometimes for hours, school pick-ups, often a day or so at a time and occasionally some weekends. 

It’s not so much that I mind the imposition as I truly love the children but my sibling just doesn’t get it and it stresses my family.  My wife and I planned for two children, not four.

Granted, my sibling has always been a little "edgy", did not do well in school and has acquired limited skills to ensure employability or stability.  Sometimes ill-tempered, frequently quick to argue, with a previous minor drug charge --marijuana-- several years past which I genuinely presume is no longer evident or problematic; but the social and economic pressures of everyday life are taking its toll on my family members such that my sibling’s emotional flare-ups are becoming more occasional than a rarity.

Here’s my plan.

I hope you’ll forgive me for thinking of taking this "out"; but anyway, I think I’ll extend to my sibling an invitation to join my family for a meal without the children and covertly pick an argument with my sibling --my spouse will be shocked as I am usually the one to defer for the sake of peace-- and rile my sibling. 

Then as the conflict escalates I’ll request my sibling depart and he will object and resist vociferously; then I’ll call the police. 

Undoubtedly when the police arrive my sibling will be justifiably outraged and will "perform" at the ejection. The police will do their part -- with a few bullets.

Given the going rate of Black life, I am convinced a good lawyer will get millions --I think the going rate for police assassination of unarmed Blacks is in the $2 million to $3 million range-- when my sibling is killed in the encounter. 

I should come off in about three to five years with a tidy sum --these negotiations sometimes drag on-- maybe sooner if lucky. I agree it's horrible of me to concoct such a scheme; but hey, one has to survive in this world and it's only money that matters not Black lives so this is the best that I can come up with --better odds than a lottery. 

Wish me success as this plan is sort of foolproof, my hands will be clean. I’ll foster the orphans to myself with guardianship down the road. Then  I’ll be better situated to provide and nurture both sets of children; my own included. 

Black life is expendable and I’m confident the police will cooperate with my scheme.


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